Attempting to find words for my awe

Last night I had a beautiful experience. I chose to believe it was divine influence on this illusion that I’m living,  because it feels  extremely good to believe that. That is what I’m reaching for through the law of attraction, correct?  The amazing feel good,  joy bringing positive emotions, to encourage positive attraction (be it divinely caused or simply quantum physics in action).

Now logically,  what I’m about to describe on the surface seems ubsurd. Taken one step further,  science has some explanations of what might be going on. 

 Quantum physics talks about the observer and the observed. As a scientific approach it acknowledges that for some reason,  the topic or object at hand can’t be fully understood unless the viewpoint of the observer is addressed. There are actually lab studies that show bi-location of matter,  until an observer causes that particle to singularly locate. (See documentary:  What the Bleep Do We Know). It’s  akin to the old adage, if a tree falls and there’s no-one there to hear it, does it make a sound. I’ve taken part in discussions where Schroedinger’s cat was being referenced in this line of logic as an example. So my experience last night could simply be because I’m the observer looking for evidence of life being an illusion and looking for positive feelings,  and the 2 combined influenced my experience.

Behind door number 2: is the scientific theory of matrixing. Essentially your brain takes 2 or more elements (sights, smells, sounds,  etc.) And blends them together because the complexity being experienced is too much data.  The matrixing or blending of the data allows your brain to manage the data more easily,  but can influence how the data is interpreted by your brain and thus the reaction you have to the experience. So my experience last night could have been caused by matrixing,  and then because of what I have been thinking about previously my reaction was intensified.

So, logically it’s all in my head and nothing out  of the ordinary actually happened. I overreacted and that’s just life…..

But that view feels like (pardon my curse) -shit.

So, my chosen feel good interpretation is that my experience was the way that the divine chose to communicate with me.

So, WTF am I talking about? 

Last night was a beautiful, awe inspiring,  end to a fairly glorious day.

On my way home,  to the North and East a storm was brewing.  To the West the sky was completely clear and stars were shining and the quarter moon was visible. I had turned on music as I got in the car,  and though I was in a good mood,  I was a bit fatigued from my long day. So, I opted to put on the EDM Pandora station for some upbeat grooving to get me through the long drive home.

I was enjoying the music when I rounded the curve putting me in direct line of sight of the storm brewing.  At first I could barely see the lightning it was so far North and near the  horizon.  As I broke the most intense parts of the metro the beauty of the storm smacked me in the face.

I saw lightening all over the sky.  Intense little bursts of beautiful white light. I was watching the lightning as a new song started,  one I knew and liked.  As I began bouncing to the music,  I realized that the lightening was keeping time with the music.  The rhythm of the lightning matched the music so closely I immediately thought of the Windows Media Player graphics equalizers that pulsed with the rhythm of music.  It also brought to mind the lights that are used to convey music to the deaf. There were sections of the sky that followed the bass, sections that followed the high-hat/cymbals, and sections that followed the mellody.

Being that I am so into music to begin with,  I was just utterly astonished.  At points I stopped to just watch the lightening play with the music. I drove home with more attention on  the lightning than the road,  but without even drifting in my lane.

When I finally got home, I called Nathan and Anya over to the car and cranked the volume up. I said “Look at the sky & listen  to the music!”

After a few moments they both said “that’s cool”.  Nathan followed it up with “I think that’s for you honey.” I cried tears of joy the emotions were so intense. 

I thought about an image I drew in highschool where I bridged drawings of plants and animals with lightning bolts. Back  then I was trying to convey a personal belief in an energy that permeates everything and connects everything.

I realized that was the message I needed to validate.  My beliefs are accurate for  me and the divine is validating me and supporting me. I stood and watched until I was so tired I began to lose my balance.

I literally drifted off to sleep listening to mantras with a perma-grin on my face repeating “I love you Gods: Lord Shiva, Ganesh, Kali Ma and Brighid, thank you!”

I know some of my friends would be turned off by my particular religious interpretation.  Some would say the logical explanations are accurate regardless of my emotional feelings on the subject.

 But regardless,  I  feel the need to point out:  what does it matter?  If I was that kind of happy,  and no-one got hurt, what does it matter that I choose to believe the divine was “talking” to me? It’s my perspective on this big crazy chaotic world we live in,  and if it helps me get through,  then that’s what matters. 

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