“Always Look At The Bright Side Of Life” -Life of Brian

I admire that quote from the Life of Brian song. I try to do that as much as possible. However, just like every comedic tragedy, my life is sometimes difficult to find the humor.

I admit it I’m human. I’m far from perfect. I’ve made bad decisions, poor choices, and fallen many, many times. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it just does. The “If I’s” and the “What If’s” and “I Should Have’s” just get stuck in my brain. I have to work very, very hard to over-ride them or ignore them.

Regardless, life has challenges, lots and lots of challenges. It seems to be a never ending game of wrestling with myself and everything else to try and “win”.

 

Today, the challenge: Try to keep my sanity while wandering around IKEA while waiting on the van to be fixed.

Some electrical problem has rendered our one and only source of  transportation to a veritable time bomb. I have had no idea for the last 3 weeks if it would  start, or even if it would stay running once I had started it. I took it to the regular mechanic twice (he’s great at nuts and bolts) could tell us there was a short somewhere, but after 6 hours and 2 visits, couldn’t tell us where.

So, I take it to one of our old mechanics in the Metro. CA Enterprises in Merriam. Great guy, does good work, and does his best to accommodate finances. He hooked up his machine, it was telling him that it was one of a couple of things. He said bring it back the first of the week (Today), and he’d  get it taken care of.

It’s 3:00 and it’s still not done because one part was switched out and another started testing bad. So he’s on a goose chase trying to get it finished by close of business. I have no idea how much it’s going to cost, but to save some money for fuel we told him we only have $500 to work with today. If it costs more than that he said he’s willing to work with us. I certainly hope so because I do need to be able to get to work this week,  & I’m out of my Rx allergy medicine! 

SO, our car will be fixed, but again there will be no fun, no construction materials, no spare change for anything. Yea! 😦

And IKEA, so tempting. There are literally thousands of things that I would absolutely love to have here. I told Nathan that if I had the money, I could take a month off work and have the house done. Finished, furnished and everything.

 So, why go to IKEA, it’s 3 blocks away from the mechanic, air conditioned, and there is a ready supply of food and window shopping.

Too bad the window shopping actually upset me.

I simply found myself saying I could have the trailer as a whole: kitchen, bathrooms, and bedrooms completely finished if I had the resources to pay for building materials and IKEA cabinets, bed-frames and accessories. It was sad, knowing that I have the knowledge, and access to physical resources. LITERALLY the only hold-up is lack of financial resources. It’s frustrating to say the least, and it’s not like I can ever think about not needing money. I’ve got a family, and I live in the United States. As long as I’m alive there will have to be money flow of some kind. I wish I could pretend I didn’t need money, then it might show up in plenty.

Yet, I do try to look at the bright side of life. It’s a comedy after all.

I do have a sort of safe home for my family, at least for now- and it was free to me. I am out living in one of the most beautiful areas I know. Near a lake, and forests. Far enough out to be clean, clear, quiet and simple, yet close enough to be able to access the city. I have a garden with beautiful flowers, which I haven’t been able to do for a decade.

I mostly have my health. I’m working on being a clean eater again. I explained to Nathan that I’m in the midst of grieving over my diet. I know that to be healthy I will never get to eat any of my allergens again: that means no brownies, cheesecake, cookies, no really good breads, no potato chips, no corn anything- ever again. I know this, but I like all of those things so much, that I’m literally having to work myself through that loss. It’s hard, but I want to be healthy for my children. Health is important, so I ironically find a sad twist of humor to grieving over food. Such as: some people in this world barely get to eat to stay alive, and I’m sad that I can’t have cheesecake anymore. Right!

C’est La Vie! Life moves on. At least I’ve had the knowledge and fortitude to acknowledge my allergies, and figure out my triggers. I’ve essentially prevented a decade of IBS or Chrones disease, the resulting hospital trips, possible surgeries, then medications which are hard on the liver.  For all I know I’ve prevented myself having liver cirrhosis in 20 years. That’s good right! 

Also,  except for our electricity usage lately,  I think I’ve had a pretty low carbon footprint.  Reusing materials for construction.  Recycling like crazy,  composting everything (even toilets), really ridiculously low water usage. Even waking around IKEA is low carbon footprint because they use solar for all their power. For a family of 4, right now we probably have a carbon footprint the size of the average American adult male. So yea us! 😉

And I do still look forward to the day that I get to put solar and wind to work for us. Then we’ll have virtually no carbon footprint.

Plus, I have great supportive fiends that let me goof off occasionally,  let me cry on their shoulders,  help me when I need help (that they can accomplish) & one even gave me that house I’m working on.  Those friends were vital to us having a great time at our homeschool co- op summer dance… fun “under the stars”. Who could ask for a better support system? 

So there you have it: my life as a Monty Python style tragic comedy! 

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